After Fox News Appearance, AHA Communications Director Joins Religious Right
This post appeared in our 2015 April Fools’ Day edition.
In a shocking turn of events, Maggie Ardiente, director of communications for the American Humanist Association and senior editor of TheHumanist.com, announced today that she plans to leave the American Humanist Association and join the conservative Christian movement.
After appearing last week on FoxNews.com’s “Spirited Debate” with host Lauren Green to discuss the rise of the religiously unaffiliated in the United States, Ardiente was apparently convinced by fellow panelist Dr. Robert Jeffress, senior pastor of the First Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas, to renounce humanism and become religious.
“I wasn’t looking to be converted, but Dr. Jeffress just had so many good points,” said Ardiente. “When he asked, ‘How do you know if you’re praying to the right god without a church?’ I thought, ‘He’s right! There are so many gods out there, but the church will point me in the right direction to the one and only!’ I converted right then and there.”
“He kept saying, ‘the truth, the truth,’” Ardiente continued, “so I went to examine what this meant. Lo and behold, a quick Google search of ‘the truth’ led me to Jesus! If Google found it, it must be true.”
Roy Speckhardt, executive director of the American Humanist Association, said, “Well, I’m disappointed, obviously. But if the spirit moved her, she clearly didn’t have any control over that.” Speckhardt privately wondered if the hair and makeup styling provided by the Fox team before the debate had anything to do with her conversion.
Ardiente officially announced her resignation as communications and development director of the American Humanist Association today, and is looking to make a full transition, including regularly using what she now calls “the miracle known as a curling iron” and caking on nearly a pound of makeup every day to achieve the “Fox News look.”