Love, Respect, and Free Weddings in Alabama

On January 23, 2015, U.S. District Judge Ginny Granade ruled that Alabama’s ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional. In preparation for this ruling, my spouse Travis updated our page on the Humanists of North Alabama website to include a list of celebrants and officiants of all types who are same-sex marriage friendly.

When Madison County Probate Judge Tommy Ragland stated that he would no longer officiate at weddings in his office (citing budget and time constraints), people in the community became concerned that couples with no religious preference, and those with minority religious views, would have limited options. To compensate, on January 31 a local wedding DJ and officiant who goes by “Cap Tomas Quin” created the event “Wedding Week” on Facebook to recruit volunteers to perform free weddings near the Madison County Courthouse starting February 2, which was also the date same-sex marriages were expected to become legal. “I knew there would be a lot of people who would rightfully want to finally get married as soon as they could,” says Quin. “I just started the page, got the permit, and starting bringing people together so that we could effectively help people and not seem like an unruly mob with no aim to go along with our good intent.”

The starting date of the event was changed to February 9 after Judge Granade enacted a stay of her ruling.

The community support was amazing! Many people signed up through organizations such as American Marriage Ministries and Universal Life Church to support the event. Other community members signed up to assist with registrations, arrange and deliver flowers, bring cupcakes and cookies, act as photographers, and to do whatever else was needed.

Pre-Wedding Week Activities

Since the weddings were going to be outdoors (and it’s cold in North Alabama), it was decided that officiants would wear rainbow sashes for easy identification. I commissioned a custom crocheted sash (convertible to infinity scarf) from local craftsperson and Wedding Week volunteer, Liza.

Many of the newly-ordained ministers posted basic questions and concerns on the Wedding Week event page. I compiled a short description of tasks for the officiants and provided a sample ceremony. I hosted an informal meeting on Friday before the big day for people to ask questions and work out details. The goal was to prepare everyone with the information necessary to give the couples a professional and caring service. We shared ideas for ceremony wording and how to sign in the license, and organizers shared information on security and talking points.

My next task was to update my business cards as well as print many versions of a ceremony with fill-ins for the couple’s names. I have never been so happy to use the delete key when I removed “commitment ceremonies” from the list of services‑from now on, they will be weddings!

The Big Day

February 9 started with mild temperatures in the fifties. We had friends in line for their license at the Madison County Courthouse in Huntsville, Alabama, and we planned to celebrate at a private ceremony with them. While we waited, we shared the excitement with friends and strangers alike. Wedding Week activities were moved from the small brick gazebo across from the courthouse to a corner of Big Spring Park (a large city park), and eventually we made use of the entire park! There were police onsite, and other city officers supported the event. (Only two lone protestors showed up with signs, and they left after their pictures were taken.)

The courthouse doors opened at 8:30 a.m. with quite a few couples in line. There were some delays getting computers online, but all went smoothly. As each couple came out with their marriage license, they were met with cheers from supporters (several of whom had taken their children out of school to participate in this historic event). Our friends emerged with their license at 10:00 a.m. We then moved to the private venue to celebrate their marriage.

After lunch, I returned to the park to take my turn as officiant for the afternoon. Forty-three couples were wed that day with more than ten officiants on hand. I performed two ceremonies, the first with Amber and Casey who came to get married with their nine-month-old son Liam and a few family members. They’re from Marshall County, which was refusing to issue any licenses that day. Their next act is to seek second-parent adoption for their son.

Later, I was selected to officiate for Mike and Tim, who had been together for fifteen years. They came from a small town in northern Mississippi, where Mike was an alderman and Tim a chef.

Members of the press were present in the morning, including Kay Campbell of the Huntsville Times.

This truly was southern hospitality at its best.

Wedding Week Continues

I participated again on Wednesday morning. Then came weather predictions for below-freezing wind chills for the next two days. The rabbi at Temple B’nai Sholom, an historic building and one of the oldest synagogues in the south, opened their doors, including the sanctuary, to Wedding Week until the end of the business day Friday.

I made it back for Friday afternoon, and it started getting busy. There were several religious ministers there for the couples who wanted a spiritual service, including an Episcopalian, a minister from the Metropolitan Community Church, a Unitarian Universalist, and, of course, the rabbi, who officiated for the Jewish couples. Some twenty newly ordained secular officiants participated. And, of course, a table of cupcakes and wedding cakes, fresh and artificial flowers, and photographers were available.

Many couples came alone, a few brought some friends and family members, and a few came with a multitude of well-wishers. I officiated for the 150^th couple to come in, a heterosexual couple who had been together for four years. They had gone to the courthouse on Monday, not realizing that same-sex marriage had begun in Alabama, and decided to wait until a little later in the week to wed.

The final total of free weddings performed during Wedding Week was 160! Lots of new friends were made, and old acquaintances were reunited. Couples who had kept their relationship quiet were finally able to celebrate freely in a welcoming environment.

As I write this, there are still a few offices not issuing marriage licenses—Judge Roy Moore claims the federal judge’s ruling didn’t apply to the whole state and demanded that probate judges and their staff follow Alabama State law. We will have to see how that plays out. Judges are elected in Alabama and their actions may play out in the next election cycle. But in Madison County right now, there is only love and respect.

Check out photo of Wedding Week taken by Travis Hardin below.

Photo’s of Wedding Week in Alabama, February 9, 2015. (Photo by Travis Hardin)