Stream To Be Still Before February 6
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Last Fall, Pipeline Playwrights, a Washington, DC theater collaborative, reached out to me about the newest production in their Our Time, Our Stories series, which showcases plays by women “about women who overcome historical, social, and legal barriers to claim victory in their personal and public domains.” The play, To Be Still, follows how a family grieving the death of a child struggles to find comfort and connection amid different religious beliefs. The producers believed the play would resonate with our local members and wanted to include a humanist speaker for their post-play panel on “How Rituals Help Us Deal with Death & Grief.” I happily coordinated with them to promote the play, book a speaker, and get to attend the play as well as a dinner with the panelists and production team. The play is now available to stream online until February 6, 2025. To purchase tickets, go to our.show/tobestillvideo. (When purchasing, use code AHAFRIEND at checkout for $5 off!)
To Be Still grew from a Kennedy Center Playwriting Intensive workshop assignment in 2018 where participants were directed to write a monologue inspired by a photograph. Award-winning playwright Crystal Adaway shared how the exercise led her to more ideas she needed to explore:
I chose the photo showing an old barn sitting in flood waters. I grew up on a farm, so I was drawn immediately to the image, then thought about how it would feel to be in that water, in that moment, as a mother, having lost the most precious thing in the world to a natural disaster, an ‘act of God’ as people call it.”
Questions swirled and eddied. What if she didn’t believe in God anymore but the rest of her family did? How would they navigate their individual and shared grief? How would they honor the life and mourn the loss? Would it tear them further apart or could they find a path to healing together? I felt like there was a bigger story to be told that I needed to write. I pulled in some research from an earlier project on American funeral practices, and after reading lots of books and gathering insights from friends and family, a play slowly emerged. I wanted to draw awareness to how the rituals and language surrounding death are steeped in religion and to explore how a family whose members hold opposing beliefs could find solace and common ground after such an unimaginable loss.
While Adaway’s play centers around Maya’s challenging relationship with her mother Evelyn before and after the tragedy, we also see how their communities try to support them. Maya’s husband Matt balances offering her comfort and silence; Evelyn’s church friend Jane provides unsolicited spiritual guidance; and the local café owner Lana and her daughter Franny give both women the space to relax and hear each other. As the characters share their beliefs and questions on death, the audience is encouraged to reflect on our own perspectives. There’s a powerful scene at a playground where Maya, realizing she can’t keep her daughter’s death a secret, informs another mother of the incident and they both fear telling a child about the death of her friend. The unease intensifies when the playground mother tries to console Maya with God-talk (“she’s in heaven now” and “let’s pray”) only to find out that she’s an atheist.
The play doesn’t pit religion against atheism, it emphasizes the need to understand each other and consider others’ needs. And it includes a humanist memorial service (like those offered by humanist celebrants) that recognizes the love shared even when a life is gone. As Adaway said:
Death is an inescapable part of life for all of us. Each of us grieves in our own way and our own time. My family went to church every week and that sense of community was important to me and how I viewed the world. Like a growing number of Americans, I no longer believe in any gods and do not participate in organized religion. I do, however, still believe in doing good works and helping others, and I consider myself a humanist. I hope this play opens the door for conversations about the biases we hold, the assumptions we make, and how to work through them to meet people where they are with respect and dignity, in their grief and in their lives.
Watch To Be Still online through February 6, 2025 at our.show/tobestillvideo and see what conversations it inspires. (When purchasing, use code AHAFRIEND at checkout for $5 off!)