Humanists Making a Difference: Celebrant Jessica Dapson
Humanists Making a Difference is our regular series highlighting humanist professionals and the communities they serve. Learn more about the work of celebrants, chaplains, invocators, and lay leaders–and find an endorsed humanist professional near you–at The Humanist Society.
What motivated you to become a celebrant?
The idea was first proposed back in 2014 by a friend and colleague whom I met when I was serving on the board of the Central New York Humanist Association. Initially, the goal was to have me serve as a celebrant for non-religious and humanist couples seeking to wed in the Syracuse area, but I was also motivated to assist LGBTQ+ couples who wished to wed. New York legalized same-sex marriage in 2011 while it wasn’t legal in all 50 states until 2015. I come from a very long line of freethinkers, all of whom had engaged in challenging the notion that tradition is best and reform is the enemy. I proudly carry that torch and intend to pass it on to my children.
Why did you seek endorsement with The Humanist Society?
Being one of the original, initial members of our local chapter—launched in 2014–I can tell you firsthand how excited I was to be part of something new and exciting in our region. So, applying for endorsement with The Humanist Society seemed natural. Much of what I do is interconnected and this is just another example of just that.
Is there an event you officiated that stands out as rewarding and significant?
This may come off as canny, but I can’t pick just one. So many of the couples whom I’ve served will forever remain in my heart and mind. The majority of the couples I serve share similar views with me, such as supporting social justice, promoting acceptance, and walking this world with compassion and empathy. Whether I’m officiating an elopement on a hillside at sunset or facilitating a secular funeral where I assist families and friends in celebrating their loved one’s life, I devote myself to serving various people in my community.
Have there been challenging moments in doing this work?
Occasionally. There are weekends where I worry that accommodating everyone won’t run as smoothly as I envisioned. Come fall, for example, I sometimes have up to five or six weddings booked for a weekend and then I may get a last-minute, frantic call from a wedding planner who realized their couple is in need of an officiant. If I can manage to squeeze them in, I will, because I know how necessary the officiant is. Without the officiant, there is neither a ceremony nor a completed and signed marriage license.
Another example of a challenge I’ve encountered is when one of the two individuals marrying shares that they have an extremely religious extended family. I muster all the confidence I can in situations like this to truly reassure these couples that their ceremony will be beautiful and most likely admired by family. Nine times out of ten, I receive feedback that is nothing but expressions of satisfaction.
How does your nonreligious worldview impact your work?
Being raised and confirmed a Catholic, the church taught me that my view of the world and those around me needed to be rigid and viewed in nothing but black-and-white. When I broke free of the grip that Catholicism had on me (albeit a loose one), the sense of liberation I experienced led me to wanting to be nothing less than a wave-maker. So now when an interfaith couple comes to me and says that neither church nor synagogue will serve as a space for their wedding, I proudly serve them in a relaxed setting. Never do I judge others. I prefer to listen and support.
Syracuse has one of the highest poverty rates in this country and, being cognizant of that, I maintain a practice of offering services pro bono to those whom express financial hardship. I am a novice photographer as well, and believe that every family should enjoy formal photos at some point in their lives, so I do serve some couples in a dual-capacity: officiant and photographer. This region is home to the Onondaga Nation—firekeepers of the Haudenosaunee—and that is another community whose members I have served at no cost, and out of appreciation for their culture and respect for the role that my ancestors had on indigenous peoples’ past and present.
How do people respond to you being a humanist? Do you often meet people who don’t even know what humanism is?
By day, I’m a public school teacher, so talk of religion doesn’t really come up there. One colleague of mine discovered that I officiate weddings and asked what exactly a humanist was. And I have had a few potential clients ask me if, despite being a humanist, I will serve them even though they’re religious. I simply say that while I am not religious and don’t attend church (with the exception of attending services every now and then at my local Unitarian Universalist Association), I am more than happy to facilitate a most lovely, humanist-based ceremony and hopefully show them how beautiful a humanist outlook is. Saying that I do good not for a god, but for goodness’ sake is usually easily understood.
The way I see it, we humans have a responsibility to one another, regardless of our differences, and we have a duty to ensure that the world is an accepting, safe place for all. I’m a parent of three and wouldn’t raise my children any other way. My spouse and I happily replaced the Ten Commandments with the Ten Commitments. Our wheel is proudly laminated and taped to our refrigerator door.