The American Humanist Association announced today that Satan has been hired as their full-time director of public relations. Satan will be primarily responsible for publicizing AHA initiatives through press outreach and spreading the message of darkness and unending suffering in the name of the One True Dark Lord.
“I can’t express how excited I am to join the AHA team,” said Satan. “The separation between religion and government has long been an important issue to me. I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to contribute to this important cause and also to bring about a new era of plague and misfortune for humanity.”
Previously, Satan had worked as a project manager in the underworld, primarily in the eighth and ninth circles of hell. He will be working out of the AHA’s offices in Washington, DC, a city that he expects to feel “just like home.”